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爆笑盘点:外国人辨别中国人的86种方法

发布时间:2016/5/19 10:57:34作者:联鸿移民

      1. You look like youare 18.

 

  你看起来好像才18岁。(东方人普遍看起来比较年轻啊)

 

  2.You like to eat chickenfeet

 

  你喜欢吃鸡爪。

 

  3.You suck on fish heads and fishfins

 

  你吃鱼时会吸鱼头和鱼鳍。(他们都是直接切掉的)

 

  4.You have a Chinese knick-knackhanging on your rear view mirror

 

  你的车子后视镜上会吊中国摆设。

 

  5.You singkaraoke

 

  你唱K(唐人街才有的玩意儿)

 

  6.Your house is covered withtile

 

  你的房子铺的是瓷砖。(老外都是木板)

 

  7.Your kitchen is covered by asticky film of grease

 

  你的厨房覆盖着一层厚厚的油脂。(爱炒东西的缘故吧)

 

  8.Your stove is covered withaluminum foil

 

  你的炉子上面有铝箔。

 

  9.You leave the plastic covers onyour remote control

 

  你的遥控器外包着塑料。

 

  10.You've never kissed your mom ordad

 

  你从没吻过你父母。

 

  11.You've never hugged your mom ordad

 

  你从没抱过你父母。

 

  12.Your unassisted vision is worsethan 20/500.

 

  你的视觉想象力低于20/500

 

  13.You wear contacts, to avoidwearing your "coke bottle glasses"

 

  你戴隐形眼镜,这样才能避免戴你的"瓶底眼镜"(中国人的眼镜真的都那么厚吗?)

 

  14.You've worn glasses since youwere in fifth grade

 

  你五年级开始就戴眼镜了。

 

  15.Your hair sticks up when youwake up

 

  你睡醒后头发会竖起来。

 

  16.You'll haggle over somethingthat is not negotiable

 

  你会为一些毋庸置疑的事情辩论。

 

  17.You love to usecoupons

 

  你喜欢用折价券。

 

  18.You drive around looking forthe cheapest petrol

 

  你为了最便宜的汽油费不惜开着车子到处找。

 

  19.You drive around for hourslooking for the best parking space

 

  你开着车子兜圈为了找到最好的停车位。

 

  20.You take showers atnight

 

  你晚上洗澡。(许多美国人都是早上洗)

 

  21.You avoid the non-free snacksin hotel rooms

 

  旅店房间里的非免费食品你都不吃。

 

  22.You don't mind squeezing 20people into one motel room

 

  你不介意二十个人挤一间汽车旅房。

 

  23.Most girls have more body hairthan you, if you are male

 

  如果你是男人,那么你身上的体毛比大多数女人少。

 

  24.You tap the table when someonepours tea for you

 

  别人为你倒茶你就用手敲一下桌子。

 

  25.You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!"frequently

 

  你经常说"(二声)(四声)""(四声)"

 

26. You don't want to wear yourseatbeltbecause it is uncomfortable。

 

  你不喜欢系安全带因为安全带让你感觉不舒服。

 

  27.You love Las Vegas, slotmachines, and black jack

 

  你喜欢拉斯维加斯、老虎机和二十一点。(中国人好赌,地球人都知道)

 

  28.You unwrap Christmas gifts verycarefully, so you can reuse the paper

 

  你细心地打开你的圣诞节礼物,因为你要留着包装纸再用。

 

  29.You only buy Christmas cardsafter Christmas, when they are 50% off

 

  你只会在圣诞节后买圣诞卡,因为打五折。

 

  30.You have a vinyl tablecloth onyour kitchen table

 

  你的厨房桌子上有一条抹布。

 

  31.You spit bones and other foodcraps on the table. That's why you need thevinyltablecloth

 

  你把骨头和其他东西都吐在桌子上,所以你必须有抹布。

 

  32.You have stuff in the freezersince the beginning of time

 

  你的电冰箱存着一万年前的食物。

 

  33.You use the dishwasher as adish rack

 

  你把洗碗机当碗橱。

 

  34.You have never used yourdishwasher

 

  你从来没用过你的洗碗机。

 

  35.You keep a Thermos of hot wateravailable at all times

 

  你有一个热水瓶里面永远装着热水。

 

  36.You eat all meals in thekitchen

 

  你在厨房吃饭。

 

  37.You save grocery bags, tinfoil, and tin containers

 

  你把用过的塑料袋、锡纸和锡盘都留着。

 

  38.You have a piano in your livingroom

 

  你客厅里有一架钢琴。

 

  39.You pick your teeth at thedinner table (but you cover your mouth)

 

  你会在餐桌上剔牙,但手遮着嘴。

 

  40.You twirl your pen around yourfingers

 

  你会转笔。

 

  41.You hate to wastefood

 

  你讨厌浪费食物。

 

  42.You have Tupperware in yourfridge with three bites of rice or one leftoverchickenwing

 

  你冰箱里有三口剩饭或一个鸡翅。

 

  43.You don't own any realTupperware-only a cupboard full of used but carefullyrinsedmargarine tubs,take out containers,and jam jars

 

  你其实从来都不用特百惠,你的碗柜里全是洗干净的黄油盒、外带餐盒和果酱瓶。

 

  44.You also use the jam jars asdrinking glasses

 

  你还把果酱瓶当水杯用。

 

  45.You have a collection ofminiature shampoo bottles that you take every time youstay in ahotel

 

  你有收集旅馆免费洗发水瓶子的爱好。

 

  46.You carry a stash of your ownfood whenever you travel (travel means any carriedlonger than 15minutes).These snacks are always dried and include driedplums,mango, and squid

 

  你每次外出十五分钟以上就都会带着你的零食:干李子、干芒果或烤鱿鱼。

 

  47.You wash your rice at least 2-3times before cooking it

 

  你会洗2-3次米。

 

  48.Your dad thinks he can fixeverything himself

 

  你爸以为自己可以修任何东西。

 

  49.The dashboard of your Honda iscovered by hundreds of small toys

 

  你的车子里堆了无数玩偶。

 

  50.You don't use measuringcups

 

  你不用量杯。

 

51. You beat eggs withchopsticks。

 

  你用筷子打鸡蛋。

 

  52.You have a teacup with a coveron it

 

  你有一个有盖的茶杯。

 

  53.You always look phone numbersup in the phone book, since calling informationcosts 50cents

 

  你总是在电话簿里找电话号码,因为咨询电话费用为五角。

 

  54.You only make long distancecalls after 11 pm

 

  你只在11点后打长途。

 

  55.If you are male, you clap atsomething funny and if you are female, you gigglewhilst placing ahand over your mouth

 

  遇到什么好笑的,如果你是男的就会拍掌大笑,女的就会手捂着嘴咯咯地笑。

 

  56.You like Chinese films in theiroriginal undubbed versions

 

  你喜欢没有配过音的中国电影。

 

  57.You love Chinese Martial Artsfilms

 

  你喜欢中国功夫片。

 

  58.You've learnt some form ofmartial arts

 

  你会一些中国武术。

 

  59.Shaolin actually meanssomething to you

 

  少林对你来说是有含义的。

 

  60.You like congee withthousand-year-old eggs

 

  你喜欢很老的有蛋的粥。

 

  61.You prefer your shrimp with theheadsand legs still attached

 

  你喜欢有头尾的虾。

 

  62.You never call your parentsjust to say hi

 

  你从不为了问声好而给你父母打电话。

 

  63.If you don't live at home, whenyour parents call, they ask if you've eaten,even if it'smidnight

 

  如果你不在家,你的父母会打电话问你吃了吗,就算半夜12点也不例外。

 

  64.When you're sick, your parentstell you not to eat fried foods or baked goodsdue to yeethay

 

  当你病了的时候,你父母要你不吃油炸食品和烤的东西,因为“热气”。

 

  (yeethay 粤语发音)

 

  65.You know what yeet hayis

 

  你知道什么是热气。

 

  66.You e-mail your Chinese friendsat work, even though you are only 10 feet apart

 

  你上班时给你中国朋友发邮件,即使你们只相距10尺。

 

  67.You use a facecloth

 

  你敷面膜。

 

  68.You starve yourself beforegoing toall-you-can-eat places

 

  你去吃自助餐前会把自己饿个半死。

 

  69.You know someone who can getyou a good deal on jewelry or electronics

 

  你认识可以打折卖给你珠宝或电器的人。

 

  70.You save your Coke bottleglasses even though you're never going to usethemagain

 

  你留着用过的可乐瓶。

 

  71.You own your own meat cleaverand sharpen it

 

  你有自己的切肉刀而且你会磨它。

 

  72.Your toothpaste tubes are allsqueezed paper-thin

 

  你的牙膏都挤到纸一样薄。

 

  73.You know what moon cakesare

 

  你知道什么是月饼。

 

  74.When there is a sale on toiletpaper,you buy 100 rolls and store them in yourcloset or in thebedroom of an adult who has moved out

 

  当厕纸降价时,你买了100多卷并囤在衣橱或别人的房间里。

 

  75.Your parents know how to launchnasal projectiles

 

  你的父母懂得如何用力擤鼻涕。

 

76. You iron your ownshirts。

 

  你自己烫衣服。

 

  77.You play a musicalinstrument

 

  你会弹奏一种乐器。

 

  78.Even if you're totally full, ifsomeone says they're going to throw away theleftovers on thetable, you'll finish them

 

  即使你饱了,当别人要把剩下的菜倒掉时你会一嘴把它吃完。

 

  79.You've eaten a red beanpopsicle

 

  你吃过红豆冰棍。

 

  80.You bring oranges with you as agift when you visit people's homes

 

  你拜访别人时会带着橘子。

 

  81.You fight over who pays thedinnerbill

 

  你在餐后抢着付账单。

 

  82.You major in somethingpractical like engineering, medicine or law

 

  你的主科是实用型的,工程学、机械或法律。

 

  83.You live with your parents andyou are 30 years old (and they prefer it thatway). Or if you'remarried and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next doortoyour parents, or at least in the sameneighborhood

 

  你三十岁时还和父母住在一起并且他们也喜欢你这样,或者你已经三十岁并且结婚了,但你还住在父母隔壁或同个小区。

 

  84.You don't tip more than 10% ata restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinesedeliveryguys

 

  你不会给超过10%的小费,即使有也是给中国服务员。

 

  85.You have acquired a taste forbitter melon

 

  你爱好吃苦瓜。

 

  86.You eat every last grain ofrice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece offood on thetable

 

  你吃光碗里的最后一粒米,但不吃盘里的最后一口菜。

 

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